It appears well and truly on, as Lance Armstrong came up needle-eye short of slipping into his first yellow jersey since Michael Jackson’s last concert (too soon?).

Armstrong and the boys in baby blue absolutely flattened the field during today’s long-awaited team time trial, which was a chance for some — Liquigas, Garmin-Slipstream — to lay down a marker, and a sad break for others — Cadel Evans, pretty much the entire Cervelo team — who fell off a rather steep cliff and were, dare I say, shattered.

It will be hard for the man from down under to pull himself back into this race, but he wasn’t the only big loser on Tuesday. Who else felt the pain, and who felt the joy? Oh, let us count the ways.

Biggest winner: The gentlemen of Garmin-Slipstream.

They had us all laughing and confused when they were down to just five riders in rapid time, but those five — Zabriskie, Millar, Hesjedal, Wiggins and Vande Velde — kept things tough and tight through the rest of the course, riding somewhere between 2/3 and 3/4 of the course (by my rough estimation) as a single pack.

Their prize, of course, was the day’s second-best overall time, and the argyles had us all eating our laughter by the end of the ride. Good for them.

Biggest loser: Cadel Evans.

At least he won’t have to lose the Tour in heartbreaking, last-second-choking fashion like usual. The Silence-Lotto crew has its struggles with a course that butchered several pacelines on the day, losing Jurgen Vandenbroeck in a wheel-rubbing mishap that left him sucking pavement.

But at the end of the course, when Evans came to the front to hammer his team home and actually put a gap on all but one of his teammates, it became clear just how weak the entire team is this year. In the past, Evans has had to fight Robbie McEwen for team focus, but this is his team now, and it’s clearly not up to snuff. And covering a 2:30+ time gap between now and Paris doesn’t look likely.

All-time Tour moment: Ben Stiller’s oober-awkward podium presentation.

Even Cancellara looked surprised to see the king of bad comedy putting the jersey on, and it pains us here at Purple Bar Tape that we are unable to find a photo of this encounter about as diplomatically successful as just mixing Swiss and American cheese together.

Stiller showed up to support his pal Lance Armstrong (Click here, if you please), and methinks he was hoping to pin his friend with the coveted yellow at the end of the stage. Instead, we were all confronted by the ugliest hair-style the podium has seen since 1932.

Raddest bros not on bikes: The SRAM braintrust.

Full disclosure here, Purple Bar Tape has a friend in the SRAM inner circle, so if that kind of stuff bothers you, we’re sorry. Also, get over it.

The American company made the breakthrough to road components just three years ago, and now, even with the introduction of Di2, they’ve still managed to pretty much muscle back the Shimano-Campagnolo duopoly on pro parts.

Every rider in the Tour’s top five right now (although that’s sort of unfair, as four of them ride for the same team) rode SRAM today. In total, three teams — Astana, Saxo Bank and Milram — all ride SRAM. And I don’t have room to list the names of riders currently rolling on Red.

All in all, not too shabby for Les Americans, eh?

Last link: Some interesting power numbers from Stage 3. OK, it’s not actually about Stage 4, but power numbers are always sweet, so shut up.